Transformed by Relationships


“You can never change a person’s heart by merely telling them how they should live and what they should do.  Advice giving shuts people down because you arrogantly assume you know what they need and all the conditions of their life that led them to the place they are now.  If you want to change someone’s heart learn to love them where they are now and see how the relationship develops from that point forward.  That’s not easy to do though, because it means you have to learn to love someone who disagrees with you, lives differently than you do, and has a set of their own well formed opinions and ideas.  Even more frightening, you may find by establishing a relationship with them your heart may change as well.  That is the gift of being in ministry.  The willingness to be vulnerable loving others and learning to care for people regardless of where they stand often means your own transformation along with theirs.  Always take what is good, holy, true, and beautiful with you and share it but be ready to discover it even in the midst of those different from you.” – Dominick D. Hankle PhD


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